This story is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
It’s Phoenix in August, 1996. I am two months behind on my electric bill, and the past due is $185.00. My disability check is late, child support checks are being held up on a technicality, and I have received no money for two months. Our current food supply for myself, my 9 year old daughter and my 11 year old son consists of 2 cans of green beans, a package of chili seasoning and a half-empty box of oatmeal. I have an appointment to get a food box later in the day, so for now - the utilities are the most pressing issue. I hear about an agency in town called Community Action Program (CAP), which assists low-income people with utility payments, so I call for an appointment and am told that the only time they make appointments for utility assistance is on Thursday at 8:00am, by phone.
Thursday morning I eagerly begin dialing at 7:52am, and get no answer. I dial again at 7:55... no answer. Again at 7:59... nothing but ringing. At 8:00 I dial the number... and it's busy. Busy at 8:01, 8:01 and 30 seconds, 8:02, 8:02 and 30 seconds, 8:03, 8:03 and 30 seconds, and so forth until at 8:14, when the lady answers. "Community Action Program. What can CAP do for you?
"Thank goodness!" I say into the phone. "I need to make an appointment for utility assistance."
"The appointments are all full. You should have called earlier," she says matter-of-factly. "Call back at 8:00am next Thursday."
"But my utilities are due to be turned off on Monday. Isn't there some way I could get in?
"Call back on Thursday. At 8:00. Call early for an appointment." I hear a click and the CAP lady is gone.
Thus begins the quest for other places to find aid. I call a local Catholic community organization. Their first question is "Have you been to CAP?"
"I can't get in with them. I can't even make an appointment for seven days, and my utilities are due to be turned off in four."
"Well, we need proof that you've been turned down by CAP before we can help you. Call us after you go to CAP."
"But my utilities are due to be turned off on..." Click. Nobody on the other end of the line any more. I call my case worker at the mental health agency. She is a great deal of help. The first thing she suggests is that I go to CAP. "By the time I can get in at CAP, we will have spent five days sitting in the dark in 110° eating green beans and chili seasoning over raw oatmeal. Could your agency possibly help me with this?"
"Well," says my case worker," we aren't really set up for that kind of thing. We used to have a fund that we could dip into, but now we can only get money for the most important things. Need any Prozac?"
She eventually looks in her little information and referral book which suggests that I call an interfaith association that helps with utility payments. I call, and am told that they decide who gets money by having a giant BINGO game... No, really, they do a lottery thing where about 120 people stand around in the heat for several hours until they draw numbers to see what five lucky people will have electricity that month. Sounds delightful, and I can't wait to go. "When should I be there?" I ask.
"Have you been to CAP yet?" the lady inquires. I tell her my CAP story. "Well, we really like for people to go to CAP first, but since you’re in such a bind, I guess it's all right. Come down next Friday at 7:45, and don't be late!"
"But my utilities are due to be shut off on Mon..." Click. End of conversation.
I call the utility company. "I need another extension," I say. "I'm really working on getting some assistance to pay this bill."
"Have you been to CAP?" says the man on the other end of the line.
I share the CAP saga for the fifth time in ten minutes.
"Well, I really shouldn't do this, but since you're trying so hard, I'll give you one more extension. I must warn you, however, that if you don't pay it this time, your electricity is history. Let's see... the longest I can possibly hold it is until 5pm Wednesday evening...."
"But I can't even call CAP for an appointment until the next morning," I say agitatedly.
"Ma'am, Wednesday is the end of your next billing cycle, and that's as long as I can hold this for you." I start to explain once again why it won't work, but I realize it's a waste of breath. So I simply say, "Thank you very much," and he says I'm welcome and tells me to have a nice day. That makes me feel so much better. I'm definitely having a nice day.
Next I try a well known Christian organization that helps the needy. I won't name the organization but I will say they have military leanings and a history of proselytizing winos. A pleasant voice answers the phone. "Hello, and thank you for calling. We care about your needs and we're always here to serve you. We're not in right now, but if you'll leave a message after the tone, someone will return your call within 24 hours. God bless you!” I assume they're out saving wretched souls like me who don't pay their utility bills. I leave my name and phone number, but I don't hold my breath.
I call a local church that has a reputation for helping the needy. "We don't have any funds right now. Have you been to CAP yet?"
I am overwhelmed by deja vu as I recount the CAP story once again.
"Well, check back with us a week from Monday and we'll see if any money comes in."
I don't bother to point out that a week from Monday is four days after my utility deadline. I'm exhausted, a little nauseated, and I just want to have a stiff drink... and then go burn down the CAP office. As I'm pouring myself a double orange juice (straight up), the phone rings. It's Lieutenant Mary Louise from the pseudo-military, religious, wino proselytizing organization. "How can we help you," she says in a very pleasant voice.
"I need assistance with my utility bill and yes, I've already been to CAP and they won't even make an appointment for me until next Friday and my utilities will be turned off if I don't pay the bill by 5:00 pm Wednesday."
"I see," says Mary Louise absently. "Have you been to CAP yet?"
I've never wanted to abuse a religious person so much. I consider adding the pseudo-military, religious, wino-proselytizing organization to my possible arson agenda. "I already mentioned that I have called CAP and can't get help from them in time. That's why I called you."
"We're pretty low on funds right now. Could you use some day-old bread? Diapers? Maybe some nice canned peas?"
"I appreciate the offer, but I really need $185.00 for my past due utilities right now. Is that a possibility?" I hear myself starting to whine.
"Let me ask." I hear muffled voices and then Mary comes back on the line. "Yes, we can help. Just be here at noon next Friday and we'll give you what you need.
"Excuse me," I say as clearly as I can through clenched teeth, "but noon next Friday will be too late. I have to pay my bill by 5pm Wednesday or they are going to turn off my electricity."
"Well, hold on a minute. Let me have you talk to our social worker." There's a long pause, and then a man's voice comes on the line. "This is Captain Daniel Stern. So it seems you have a utility problem."
"Yes I do," I say a little too loudly. "My utilities must be paid by 5:00pm this coming Wednesday and if I don't pay, the electric company will shut off my power. It's 110° outside, I have children and pets at home, and if my power gets disconnected, the company will sympathetically add a huge reconnection deposit to the bill I already can't pay. Can you please help me?"
"Of course we can, Ma'am. Just come in next Friday at noon and we'll take care of that for you."
I take a long slow breath, trying to respond in an at least semi-sane manner. "I really need the help before my Wednesday night deadline," I say in a steady voice.
"Well," the man says sympathetically, "it sounds like you have a real problem on your hands. There are some people who specialize in this kind of thing, and I'm sure they'll be able to help you. I suggest you call them right away. I have their special inside line... 555-3221. They're the best people to call for this kind of emergency."
I thank him profusely, hang up, and dial the number. Finally I am going to get the help I need. Finally things are going to get better. The phone rings once, twice... and then a lady answers. "Community Action Program. What can CAP do for you?"
DISCLAIMER: Since 1996, CAP has helped me many times, and I am extremely grateful. It's a great agency that helps lots of people ... once you learn how it works and play by their rules. FYI: flexibility is not a forte of government agencies.
THE END
