The house was dark that
night. Only a small slice of the full
moon was visible through the thick black storm clouds. She reached for the bathroom door, turning
the knob so slowly… so gently… making no noise.
Small bare feet tiptoed out into the hallway, and no one heard the
silent steps to the kitchen. No one
heard the freezer door open or saw the thin sliver of light, just the width of
her tiny child's body. She stood in the
narrow space, feeling the coolness on her flushed face, and it made her think
of snow; cold, white, pure, lovely snow, untouched and sparkling under the full
moon. Her mind slipped away into the
picture, falling backwards in a snowy drift, and feeling the cold begin to numb
the pain – melting the fire inside her away into nothingness. So quiet… so peaceful… so safe and invisible.
The dog nuzzled her foot,
cruelly jolting her back into her body, into the pain and shame of things that
she had not been able to wash away, no matter how many times she had rinsed the
red stain from the washcloth. She had no
idea how long she had been standing there, but her face was almost numb with
cold. She dared not risk the squeak of
the refrigerator door, so tonight would have to be a grape Popsicle from the
freezer and a handful of M&Ms hurriedly snatched from the bowl on the
counter. She slipped the bright colored
candies into her pocket, and hid the Popsicle inside the folds of her robe…
just in case. But this would be a good
night, and no one would stir to interrupt her sad silent journey... back to her
only reward for a job well done.
