Silent Journey

The house was dark that night.  Only a small slice of the full moon was visible through the thick black storm clouds.  She reached for the bathroom door, turning the knob so slowly… so gently… making no noise.  Small bare feet tiptoed out into the hallway, and no one heard the silent steps to the kitchen.  No one heard the freezer door open or saw the thin sliver of light, just the width of her tiny child's body.  She stood in the narrow space, feeling the coolness on her flushed face, and it made her think of snow; cold, white, pure, lovely snow, untouched and sparkling under the full moon.  Her mind slipped away into the picture, falling backwards in a snowy drift, and feeling the cold begin to numb the pain – melting the fire inside her away into nothingness.  So quiet… so peaceful… so safe and invisible.

The dog nuzzled her foot, cruelly jolting her back into her body, into the pain and shame of things that she had not been able to wash away, no matter how many times she had rinsed the red stain from the washcloth.  She had no idea how long she had been standing there, but her face was almost numb with cold.  She dared not risk the squeak of the refrigerator door, so tonight would have to be a grape Popsicle from the freezer and a handful of M&Ms hurriedly snatched from the bowl on the counter.  She slipped the bright colored candies into her pocket, and hid the Popsicle inside the folds of her robe… just in case.  But this would be a good night, and no one would stir to interrupt her sad silent journey... back to her only reward for a job well done.