As someone who was engulfed in extreme fundamentalist Christian dogma until my mid 30s - I understand the belief of so many good people that it is their calling - their duty - and their personal responsibility to convince me that there is only ONE WAY. I believed for 3 decades and with all my heart that if I did not tell you about the gospel of Jesus Christ and convince you that there was no truth beyond a literal translation of the Bible - it would be my fault when you wound up in hell for eternity. It would be my fault if you were damned. Imagine that kind of burden on the back of a young child - or a teen - or anyone! There was no room for interpretation - for acknowledging the times and culture in which the Bible was written - no space to question or even consider questioning anything because I had already been given "the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth.... so help me God."
Fortunately for me, (although it didn't seem fortunate at the time), my life was touched by so much despair and pain and confusion that I was forced to begin looking for different answers - eventually turning away from the God of my early years to look for a bigger - more loving - less vengeful - more inclusive Deity. Hard to believe when your life is falling down around you on every level that there could be something good coming later... but there was. The degree of openness and acceptance that has grown in me in the last 20 years - mostly because of all the "heathens and pagans" I have been blessed with on this leg of my spiritual journey - is truly amazing. It's as if my mind was literally forced open with a spiritual crowbar - or perhaps a Divine "Jaws of Life" - and Light could finally stream in. The learning and growing is ongoing, and questions still outnumber answers - but I could never go back.
It seems unfair to condemn someone for sincerely trying to save me from
eternal torment in the fiery pits of hell. But when certain Christians who really know nothing about my life condemn me for not walking the "Straight and Narrow" - how do I not feel less than forgiving? As I read some of the toxic swill that is being spouted by the religious right in the face of the recent demise of DOMA - and when I think of those who would quote chapter and verse from Leviticus to convince me that my delightful, kind, generous, and creative gay and lesbian friends are an abomination to God - how do I keep my thoughts toward them loving and kind? When I hear people condemn the peaceful and healing teachings that have helped give me back my sanity - the wise words of the Dalai Lama, Pema Chodrin, and Thich Nhat Han - Mathew Fox and Swami Vivekananda - Gandhi and Thomas Merton - Rabbi Lerner, Lao Tzu, Wayne Dyer, Chief Seattle and so many more... how do I not become resentful and full of rage?
These are only three of the innumerable questions I do not have answers for yet - but here are some thoughts. Bottom line is... it's not my job to convince anyone I am right and they are wrong. When I start doing that, I am simply repeating what was done to me in my youth. It is not my job to persuade anyone that my Truth is more True than their Truth. If I believe that there is one SOURCE in the Universe - whether you call that God, Allah, YHWY, Great Spirit, Buddha, Krishna, Jehovah. Bahá, the Universe, Nature, the One, or Eliza Jane - I have to believe that all paths have no choice but to lead to the same place. If Divine Source is all there is, how can we wind up anyplace else?
I love this quote that is attributed to Hindu teachings: "There are hundreds of
paths up the mountain, all leading in the same direction, so it doesn't
matter which path you take. The only one wasting time is the one who
runs around and around the mountain, telling everyone else that their path is wrong."
So - to certain Christians who feel the need to condemn me and my friends and contribute to a consciousness of discord and disharmony, I say this: "Stop wasting your time running around the mountain yelling at people! Times are changing, and even some prominent Christians are now realizing that believing in ourselves and our own magnificence is more essential to living the life we were born to live than spreading antipathy and condemnation. Go ahead and believe whatever you believe - it is not my business. Please don't make the way I believe your business... especially under the guise of saving my soul. I am not asking you to save me because I don't need it. There is nothing for me to be saved from except my own perceptions of unworthiness, shame and lack. I really don't need your help feeding those beasts - they are fat enough already - so STOP IT! Love me with my lumps and bumps, and I will do my very best to love you with yours... even if we have to do it from afar!"
